SayingPositiveThingsForOnce

It's good when can occasionally be caught off guard by things that go right. Like when you have a conversation where you think its just going to go horribly bad, and then it turns out the other person is totally on board. Even better, when the gets what you are saying without having to stretch yourself thin trying to explain things or when you don't have a single circular argument. The only problem is the thoughts that follow such a good thing....like asking yourself:
Why can't it always be like this?
Was that so hard, to just be open minded?
Isn't there any way I can make this happen more often?

The key is to make yourself not think those thoughts, or at least remind yourself that those thoughts are useless if you have already tried extensively to make this work in other ways...unless of course you are a human that has limitless energy and brainpower to expend on trying to make a conversation work like it should. If that is the case, then more power to you. For the majority of the people out there, the following reasoning applies:

You can't change anyone else. You can only change yourself. So all you can do is worry about yourself and make sure that YOU are doing the right thing. That way you cannot be accused of being a hypocrite and hopefully you will set the example and the other person will catch on....hopefully.

The reasoning/advice above will be a recurring theme in this blog. OK, so what happens if the reasoning above has you up against a wall and you just don't see an end in sight? Well, if I had the right answer I would be super awesome and famous. Good thing about humans is that we have characteristic that animals also have....the instinct of "Fight or Flight." You either stick it out and work through it(Fight) or leave your troubles behind and learn from our mistakes(Flight). In most cases, to "Fight" is the right answer. That is of course unless extreme emotional and/or physical abuse is involved. There are many other qualifiers and variables that contribute to each situation, so the reasoning above does not apply to everyone.

After saying all that I have, I bring this up because for a lot of people(including myself) it is hard to apply this reasoning and I am working on just worrying about myself and trying not to ask myself those questions.. I still need to vent about it though. I hate having to do it all the time. It gets old after a while... but in a marriage, vows are vows. I meant them. I better have a good reason to back out. It's cliche, but the old adage applies for me here: It could be worse.

I started this with positive things to say but I am not feeling as positive now. Just neutral. I can live with neutral.

SayingStuffAboutMoney

Some people will never understand the concept of money. There are those in life that never have the time to sit down and talk about it. When it does get talked about, you get the feeling that you are wasting their time or as if they have things that are WAY more important that need to get done. It's never the right time to talk about money...especially when they are the problem.

Why I Started This

I started this because I don't want to be another one of those people that airs all of their personal stuff out on Facebook. I want to be able to talk and say my peace without anyone judging me(at least not anyone that knows me). I thought this would be an appropriate outlet.

I was going to post something like this out on Facebook: "Sometimes it comes to a point where there is no time for emotions or discussions. You must simply delete your feelings" Rather than delete my feelings, I choose to put them here, where I can reflect on them. I have been to a Psychologist.....they cost money. They don't really help as much as I think they should and you spend most of the time trying to get all of the things on your mind, out in the open. With as much as I have going on, I need an hour just to get through all the stuff I want to talk about and say. I just need to say the things that I want to say without having to burden a family member or a friend. Some say god is the answer. Tell your thoughts and feelings to god. Well that's fine and dandy, I WILL do that, but I need to be able to look back at my progress and see how far I've come.....or digressed.

As for the format....I'm not sure. I will probably post multiple times in one day, and then have maybe a week where I say nothing. I am going to keep this anonymous. Names will be replaced with fake ones, and if someone other than myself decides to read this....I don't know. It will probably be a waste of your time. I have had thoughts about making some of the things in my life a book, or something else. I know that if prepared properly the events could really be quite interesting to look over. Perhaps this blog will prompt me to do so.

I hope that I have the motivation to put my thoughts here regularly. I often start things and have good intentions of keeping up with them, but then I forget...and things take my attention away. Anywho, welcome......and here goes nothing.....